i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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