And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize