I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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