this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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