peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
