you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize