he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
