a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
