We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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