He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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