Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
