Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
