I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
