I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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