You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize