her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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