Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
