I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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