my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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