$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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