Define "chronic" masturbator.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
