i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
