In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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