You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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