im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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