Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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