True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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