I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
