I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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