Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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