omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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