trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
