I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
