remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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