there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
