This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
