why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize