Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
try to milk me bitch
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
