The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
