i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize