So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
