remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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