she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
