u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
