i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
