just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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