Do vagina's smell?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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