I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
