sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
