Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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