im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
