First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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