you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
