Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
