According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
