dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize