That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
