he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
