We're facebook friends in real life
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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