so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
