Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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