he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
