my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
