Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize