if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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