Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
