fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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