so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
